My husband is so patient with me. I honestly believe God allowed us to team up together in this thing called life because He knew I needed someone that would balance me. I'm the firecracker and he's the cool cucumber. {Maybe that's why he proposed on July 4th?!} I'm the fighter, he's the pacifist. I'm the one that goes overboard excited about things and he's more calm and collected.
Anyway, as many people that know me probably realize, I have quite a temper. When something sets me off I have to get it all out, which isn't always a good thing. On the scales of Grace & Truth I lean more towards the truth side. I am realizing that I desire justice and I cannot stand injustice. It makes me angry. I can learn a lot from my husband because he extends grace in just about every situation. Like I said, we balance each other.
Brian shared a post from
DesiringGod.org that really convicted me. Let me relate an recent incident that you might find silly and wonder why in the world something like this would make me so upset:
Monday night Brian told me a neighbor asked us to not park cars in the cul-de-sac across from our house. The unfortunate part is that the cul-de-sac is skewed right so there is a lot of street frontage on the right side of the cul-de-sac and not much street frontage in front of our home, making the right side ideal for overflow parking.
Brian hosts a Bible study on Monday nights, and while our driveway can accomodate 4 or 5 cars there are still other folks that have to park in the street sometimes. So they park across the cul-de-sac. Unbeknownst to us, this neighbor allows his kids to park there b/c they have an unfortunately steep driveway. Brian was informed that that area needed to be freed up for his kids that come in and out.
As soon as Brian told me this my fuse was lit. To make a long story shorter--I erupted and decried the injustice of him asking us not to park in the street while it's a public street and even though it fronts his yard it's not his to control access to. I even went so far as to say his kids need to grow up and move out and stop living at home with Mommy and Daddy. [Yikes!]
Brian was appalled at my ungracious attitude. The funny thing is is that earlier that evening I had been praying that I would be able to show grace to people.
So, my gracious husband sent me that article from Desiring God this morning. I really like this paragraph:
We shouldn't be angry at clutches that don't work in our car. Jonathan Edwards made a resolution never to get angry at an inanimate object, because ultimately it would be anger against God who is in control in inanimate objects, and they don't have any will to commit an immorality with which to get angry.
So we should get angry with sin, but that anger should be so mingled with heart-sorrows for the people sinning.
I find my anger is often directed towards inanimate objects {the copier, the Internet, my pen *sigh*}. I also get angry with other people. But as I sit here, I am beginning to understand that my anger is rarely directed toward sin. Mostly I am angry because I am prideful and selfish. Jesus was neither and His anger was without sin. I'm thankful that I do not feel embittered or that I go to bed on my anger. Though I do know there are times when I wake up with the thought, oh yeah, I'm mad about that. But then I usually forget about it.
Oh, and I need to remember that "Vengence is mine, says the LORD."
I'm not sure this post makes much sense b/c I've been back and forth writing it. I just felt the need to put it down so that hopefully I'll remember to not be angry at people or things, but to consider that a)Christ has forgiven sin on the Cross and b)God is in control of inanimate objects!
With patience,
